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| Scott Meacham, director of the Office
of State Finance, says his magical pimp hat keeps his bitches in line during the lengthy process of negotiation. |
By Lee Cruce, Partisan Staff Writer
From tobacco compacts to
gambling and Medicaid expansion,
state finance director Scott
Meacham was one of the most
effective forces in Oklahoma government.
However, the Elk City
banker is quick to give credit where
credit is due, acknowledging the
magical powers of his purple pimp
hat.
“The hat keeps my (prostitutes)
in line,” said Meacham.
“Tobacco retailers are all like, ‘We can’t compete with the tribes’ and I’m like, ‘Be cool bitches.’ You gotta respect the hat. Otherwise you get the slap.”
Meacham said his headgear’s
purple velvet crown makes him
seem more approachable, while the
zebra-striped band subtle indicates
that he ain’t f#@kin’ around.
Legislators and other officials
are generally supportive of
Meacham’s hat, although they have
a less-favorable opinion of his
vicious backhand slaps.
“I was arguing gambling expansion
about a month ago,” said Rep.
Forrest Claunch, R-Midwest City,
“and the next thing I know, I’m getting slapped across the face while Scott screams ‘Who’s your daddy?’”
Meacham explained that, in
the course of his work, it is often
necessary to lay the smack down
on punk bitches.
“You got a problem, you can
take it up with the hat,” he said.
Punk-ass bitches have asked
Gov. Brad Henry to restrain
Meacham. However, following an
assault by “the five fingers of
progress,” Henry said he ain’t goin’
there again.