OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) –
On Tuesday, officials with the Oklahoma
State Bureau of Investigation
confirmed that Steve Largent, former
football star, U.S. representative
and gubernatorial candidate, was
found living in the basement of the
governor’s mansion.
The discovery concludes a yearlong
investigation into the fate of the
popular, good-looking jock, who had
not been heard from following his
defeat by student-council dweeb
Brad Henry in the 2002 election.
Officials says Largent has been
living in the mansion’s basement
since the defeat, surviving off Sonic
leftovers discarded by the Henry
family.
Largent was largely incoherent,
but appears to think he has
been running Oklahoma government
from his nest of filth.
He seemed pleased to announce
the successful passage of workers
compensation and tort reform,
before flinging feces at Animal Control
officers.
“Man, that’s pretty messed up,”
said Henry.
