Rep. Wayne Pettigrew accused his fellow
Republicans this week of actively trying to
undermine his political career in retaliation for
his support of all Democratic proposals that
attract media attention.
“This mean-spirited attack simply reduces Republican chances of gaining control of the Oklahoma House of Representatives and illustrates the need for the type of non-partisan leadership I provide in front of cameras each and every day,”
Pettigrew said.
The Edmond Republican first suspected his
popularity in the Republican caucus had ebbed
when he was reassigned
to a new office that he
later learned doubled as
a public bathroom/leper
colony.
He said those suspicions
were further confirmed
when he was
given cleanup duty in
the office.
Republicans said the
relocation was strategic.
“He’s pretty much full of shit, so craphole seemed like the perfect office,”
said sixty-five representatives who agreed
to speak only on the promise of anonymity.
Pettigrew said tensions worsened this week
when all 47 of his Republican colleagues signed
an endorsement letter mass-mailed throughout
his district urging voters to support “anyone but
Pettigrew.”
Fundraising woes have also plagued Pettigrew’s
re-election efforts since he learned the
Chickasaw Nation’s pledge of contributions in
return for a vote to legalize Las Vegas gambling in
elementary schools would be paid in “smart
cards” for tribal slot machines.
Pettigrew said his requests for financial contributions
from other Republicans have been met
with stony silence at best and maniacal laughter
in other cases.
“I think the Republicans may not be happy
with me,” he said.
In response, the House Republican caucus
issued a press packet titled: “No Shit Sherlock:
The case against braking for Wayne Pettigrew in
the Parking Lot.”
The packet included papers and instructions
that would allow Pettigrew to change
political parties.
Democrats countered with their own release
titled: For the love of God, stay Republican.
Pettigrew said Republican hostility appeared
to coincide with his string of 3,471 consecutive
votes with the Democratic majority, a feat not
matched since former state Rep. Fred Brooks, R-Tulsa,
was indicted for bribery and kickbacks in
the 1970s.
Democratic leaders openly acknowledge that
Pettigrew has become a more dependable vote for
their positions than Rep. Roy McClain, D-Tulsa
and approximately 30 other members of the 52-
member Democratic caucus.
Prior to becoming the Democrats’ favorite
Republican, Pettigrew was best known for legislation
calling for Oklahoma to secede from the
Union. That bill would have also replaced the
current state flag with a Confederate Battle Flag
that incorporated the image of “the finger” being
flown at passers-by.
Pettigrew’s other notable legislative
contribution is a bill to mandate the use
of 1940s-era civics books in public schools that
refer to the civil rights struggle as “trouble ahead.”
In spite of receiving the cold shoulder from
many Republicans in recent days, Pettigrew said
he believes the “silent majority” still admire his
“no nonsense” approach to pandering.
“I really think I could be speaker of the
House someday,” he said.
His colleagues appear bewildered by that
optimism.
“How can a man with such bizarre hair be so
oblivious to consistent criticism, ridicule and hurling
of feces?” asked Rep. Lance Cargill, R-Harrah.
Others phrased their views in theological
terms, with Catholic members seeing Pettigrew as
punishment for their sins and Protestants viewing
him as a sign of the impending Apocalypse.
“Wayne Pettigrew has an ego of Biblical proportions,”
said Rep. Forrest Claunch, R-Midwest
City and noted Biblical scholar, “and there can
be little doubt that he is the anti-Christ.”
