OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) –
Rural lawmakers have announced
an agreement to sell their souls in
exchange for farm subsidies. Under
the terms of the deal, farm subsidies
would be purchased from House
leadership in exchange for the core
principles of the Democratic Party.
Rep. Wed Hilliard, D-Sulphur,
said it made sense for the group to
jettison excess baggage. "As Oklahoma
Democrats grow more conservative,
we find our liberal ideals
aren't being used," Hilliard said.
"Since they're just gathering dust,
we have no problem getting rid of
them in exchange for sweet, sweet
farm subsidies."
"Mmmm... Farm subsidies,"
said Rep. R.C. Pruett, D-Antlers.
Speaker of the House Todd
Hiett, R-Kellyville, said he is
delighted with the deal.
"Working with conservative Democrats, I was able to purchase several core values that had blocked meaningful workers comp reform for the state of Oklahoma. With these principles out of the way, it was much easier to push through tort reform as well."
While the process had widespread
support in the House, several
Senate Democrats have
expressed concern. Sen. Angela
Monson, D-Oklahoma City, is
calling for a task force to investigate
rural lawmakers addiction to
farm subsidies.
"Certainly, it appears that farm subsidy addiction is on the rise among Democrats,"
said Monson.
"We want to get these lawmakers
into treatment, to break
this vicious cycle. No one should
have to sell their souls in exchange
for government handouts."