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| Due to tribal sovereignty and tax exemptions, luxurious tribal smoke shops such as this one enjoy a price advantage. In the background, smoke rises from a mountain of broken treaties. |
If you listen closely, a new refrain can be
heard echoing across the plains of Oklahoma,
bubbling up from the streams and
carried on the whisper of the wind.
"That's not fair."
It's a phrase Joseph Coffey knows all too
well.
As proprietor of Joe's Smoke Stop outside
of Tecumseh, the Citizen Pottawatomie tobacco
merchant hears it all the time from his nontribal
competitors.
This legislative session has already seen
the passage of Gov. Brad Henry's controversial
gambling expansion bill, which allows
Indian casinos to expand their gaming operations.
Furthermore, the governor's cigarette
tax proposal has raised opposition from nontribal
tobacco retailers, who say that the bill
will put them at a disadvantage compared to
their Indian counterparts.
The effects of tribal sovereignty have
created an unequal playing field, leaving nontribal
businesses fighting to compete and tribal
merchants struggling to give a rat's ass.
Fischer's Tobaccy Shacky has been the
Bartlesville for generations, ever since the
Cherokees were displaced so that white people
could drill for oil.
"I grew up in an Oklahoma with one flag, and I don't think it's fair that we say some people can do some things and some people can't."
Things are tough all over: As Fischer
work to remain profitable, tribal dealers such
as Coffey fight to give a good goddamn.
"It's hard," notes Coffey, who says he
sometimes feels guilty for his inability to feel
sorry for the little pussies. "I guess we've really
forgotten what it's like to be treated unfairly. I
guess the 200 years of ass-ramming by federal
and state governments made us overlook the
suffering of the guy who owns the Love's in
Purcell" he said.
Coffey is not alone; Indian officials
across the state spend countless seconds trying
to feel sympathy for non-tribal tobacco dealers,
only to find that they can't.
Tribal governments are working on the
problem, and the Choctaw Nation has commissioned the construction of the world's
smallest violin, to be played exclusively for
non-tribal cigarette dealers.
Choctaw official David Haines hopes
the violin will ease relations by showing that
Oklahoma's Indian population is sympathetic
to its competition. "It must be hard to play at
an unfair table," he said.
"Almost as hard as
it is to cope with sky-high rates of poverty,
alcoholism and mental illness due to generations
of oppression by foreign invaders."
Haines invited the jilted dealers to
share they're concerns. "Cry me a fuckin'
river, crackers" he said.
In a recent meeting, the Absentee
Shawnee tribe considering shedding a single,
solitary tear for the people who forced them
to leave their lands, marched them into
Oklahoma, then took that land when oil was
discovered. Supporters said the measure
would show solidarity with other retailers,
since it's not like American Indians discovered
tobacco or anything.
Ultimately, the member rejected the
measure in favor of laughing their asses off.
