Yellow Ribbons Help State Troopers Target Subversives
Profiling patriotism on the roadways is an essential tool for increasing driver competence. We all know that God & Country haters are generally too incompetent to drive safely, so we feel totally justified by the otherwise virtue-signaling collection of oversized refrigerator magnets and vinyl clutter.
Other headlines we're pursuing;
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– Stoned lawmaker votes
to order pizza
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– Bill Graves checks watch,
resumes waiting for Rapture
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– RIP: Hunter S. Thompson
1937 - 2005
