OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – The Senate Health and Human
Resources committee met last week to certify popular hip-hop group
The Beastie Boys as Oklahoma’s “illest.”
Michael Crutcher, head of the Oklahoma State Department of
Health, asked for official recognition of the Boys’ illness.
“As we have known for some
time, they got the ill communication,”
“It is important
to acknowledge that the group
is, in fact, ‘licensed’ to ill.”
Committee Chair Bernest
Cain, D-Oklahoma City, questioned
Crutcher as to the qualifications
of the Boyz from Brooklyn.
“While it is clear to me that
the Beastie Boys rock the hizouse,
would you also say that they got the
skillz to pay the billz?”
“Word up,” said Crutcher.
The bill cleared the committee unanimously, following a
brief pause to raise da roof.
Rep. Thad Balkman, R-Norman, and
Rep. Opio Toure, D-Oklahoma City, have been debating controversial
changes to House rules since the first day of the session. However, negotiations
are going much smoother since relocating to Room 101, a
spokesman for Balkman reported.
Situated deep within the Ministry of Truth, Room 101 is often used
by the Party to destroy those who would resist it.
Upon exiting the room,
lawmakers are often more responsive to counter-proposals.
In this case, Rep. Toure agreed that;
"he who controls the House
controls the present, and he who controls the present controls the