Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Commission Recommends Creation of At Least Three More Ogle brothers

OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – Seeking to boost the state’s supply of tall, square-jawed, slightly condescending newscasters, a bipartisan panel has recommended the immediate creation of three more Ogle brothers. 

  “Kelly, Kent and Ken are doing an admirable job, but Ogles are the Baldwins of the heartland, and we feel that a strong Ogle presence is required to foster economic development, especially in the rural areas.” 

  In its six-month study, the commission found that large areas of southeastern Oklahoma, as well as the Panhandle region, lack basic Ogle amenities such as Kelly’s two cents or Kent’s puppy-dog eyes. Some expressed concern about the report. While most agreed that more Ogles were necessary, some suggested that a shortage of “K” names should limit the number of newscasters created. “I mean, we’re already stretching it,” said one official. 

Friday, September 14, 2018

Oklahoma Upgrades To Doublewide

Other Stories we're working on...

– House Democrats admit they’re jealous of GOP’s huge caucus 


– Study: State children suspect Sen. James Williamson to be Lord Voldemort 

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Corn Announces Resignation To Run For Student Council

 OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – Sen. Kenneth Corn, D-Poteau, announced his resignation Wednesday in order to pursue a vacant seat in his high school’s student council. 

“I feel that my experience in state government has given me the skills necessary to accomplish meaningful change for the students of Howe High School.” 

Corn said that, if elected, he would work on getting a Coke machine in the senior cafeteria and maybe moving the prom to an off-campus location.

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