Thursday, May 27, 2021

Balkman’s Reagan Shrine ‘A Little Creepy’


OKLAHOMA CITY (FU) - Last week, House staffers admitted that they were disconcerted by Rep. Thad Balkman's shrine to former president Ronald Reagan. 
  "It's a little creepy," conceded a committee staffer, speaking only on the condition of anonymity.

 "I mean, it takes up half of his office, and the incense gets a little strong sometimes."

 Balkman has authored House Joint Resolution 1001, "recognizing and declaring Ronald Reagan Day... declaring an emergency." The bill was a scaled-back version of his original bill, which would have made Reagan the official mascot of Oklahoma.

Rep. Thad Balkman 
  The bill has some opposition in the Democratic-controlled Senate, but Republicans are planning on screaming “Hillary Clinton-lovers!” until dissent is squelched.

   Having fixed all of the state's other socioeconomic problems, Balkman said it was crucial to recognize that Reagan was the only U.S. President who never made a mistake... ever. He also plans on authorizing companion legislation later this year, declaring former president Bill Clinton an enemy of the state.

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