OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) –
On Tuesday, legislators were told
of the rising sexual tension
between Rep. Thad Balkman, R-Norman,
and Rep. Lance Cargill,
R-Harrah.
The two representatives are
frequent collaborators, often issuing
joint
press releases
and addressing
the media
together.
Most recently,
the
dynamic duo
issued a press
release calling
on the
Oklahoma
Democratic Party to cancel a gay
marriage event and “endorse
efforts to amend the state constitution
to prohibit gay marriage.”
“They’re always together,
talking about Oklahoma values
and capital gains tax cuts,” said
House staffer Gordon MacRae,
“It’s so obvious, everyone in the Capitol knows it.”
Former House page Gloria
Grahame was more direct, “I wish
they’d just kiss already.”
While most at the Capitol
agree that Balkman and Cargill
would make a good couple, the rising
tension is not without danger,
said Oklahoma fire marshal
Robert Doke.
“Whenever Balkman and Cargill get together, the sparks start flying. And when you’ve got a Capitol surrounded by oil wells, flying sparks is not something you want to deal with,”
said Doke.
To ease some of the tension
between the two, Doke suggested
having a House staffer hose them
down between particularly intense
caucus sessions. Sen. Scott Pruitt,
R-Broken Arrow, has also offered
to chaperone the two to ensure
that everything remains copacetic.
